DAY 141

 

“Be wild; that is how to clear the river. The river does not flow in polluted, we manage that. The river does not dry up, we block it. If we want to allow it its freedom, we have to allow our ideational lives to be let loose, to stream, letting anything come, initially censoring nothing. That is creative life. It is made up of divine paradox. To create one must be willing to be stone stupid, to sit upon a throne on top of a jackass and spill rubies from one’s mouth. Then the river will flow, then we can stand in the stream of it raining down.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

DAY 140

 

“The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

DAY 139

 
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SEEDS UNKNOWN (Tucson, AZ)

I took this bundle of seeds from the same plant as yesterday. This pod was not ready but I sliced it open to find this.

DAY 137

 
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BERRIES UNKNOWN (Tucson, AZ)

I am so fascinated by and drawn to the evidence of multiple seasons found together. The past and the future found dangling side by side on a single branch. How potent would our reflections be if we could sit so closely with our past?

DAYS 113 - 135

I have not posted for three weeks. It has been the perfect storm. My mother was in the hospital, my husband opened a restaurant and if I’m going to be real - I had a total emotional breakdown. It was always my plan to have some inventory for these moments when life inevitably gets in the way but sadly I could never get ahead of it enough to build any.

I am still struggling. I am wrestling with self-worth and the ugliest feelings of resentment and regret. If you’re familiar with the work of Brene Brown she describes this moment as being “face down in the arena.” I have been face down a lot. On the bathroom and kitchen floor sobbing while my daughter is sleeping, while my husband is away.

I know this moment is not over. I’m working through things that take time and patience. I’m going to do my best to be kind to myself for this lapse in commitment, to let my feelings fall into the work and to pick myself up enough to search for a little beauty.

DAY 112

 

WEEKEND INSPIRATION #2

Hilma af Klint

DAY 111

 

WEEKEND INSPIRATION #1

Josef Albers

DAY 108

 
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WATERCOLOR ON PAPER (Tucson, AZ)

I’m feeling the need to slow down, look close and breathe. I may stay here for a while.

DAY 106

 
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MUSHROOMS (Tucson, AZ)

Several days of continuous rain has brought these little ones up in our yard. They are fascinating. They show up in an instant and by the afternoon they’re gone.

DAY 105

 

WEEKEND INSPIRATION #2

Louis Kahn